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Thus Begins the New Chapter!

In my solid tradition of waiting too long to make updates, way too much has happened to fully articulate here. Suffice it to say, this is a weird and wonderful, new and terrifying time in my life. I now have, brace yourselves, a bonafide 9-5 job (or 8 to 4:30, as my case may be). It is all so foreign and strange (and dream like, occasionally), but awesome and inspiring in the most unexpected of ways.

I was really quite nervous to start out, for real for real, full time. I'd always thought I'd start out part time and build up to full-time (or not), but this opportunity presented itself and was pretty hard to deny. Fatefully, I went with my dad to his department's Christmas party this past December. Met with his boss, the head of the department, who absolutely fell in love with me and made it her mission to get me hired at her off-site clinic (she mostly works out of the main, where my dad works, but they also have an off-site specialty clinic in the same department). Basically, she pushed my resume through so that I was the only applicant considered and helped me get the resume through at all, as I did not have the required experience to apply for the position. So I got a job I was hugely underqualified for (on paper, at least) and all the lovely benefits that UNM offers. Really, I had to take the job.

The idea of getting up every morning at the ass crack of dawn was reeeeeeeeally disconcerting to me. Oddly enough, it hasn't been the issue I was expecting it to be. Yeah, it sucks to get up so early every morning but, really, once I'm actually out of bed and putting on my make up, I'm totally awake and ready to head in. MORE than that, Shaun has been amazing about going to bed early with me. I really thought this would be a sticking point. By nature, Shaun is a night owl. But his willingness to go to bed with me early almost nightly has been such a joy and made the transition so much easier. I cannot believe he continues to be so great about this three months later. Pretty much, he's awesome. He also bought me a ridiculously expensive Michael Kors bag and wallet for my birthday, so he's pretty much maxed out his Exceptional and Awesome Boyfriend Points for life and is putting other significant others to shame with all of the supporting he's been doing of me. I keep trying to articulate to him how much it means to me, how much I love and adore him, how appreciative I am, but words really seem to fail me there. It's pretty amazing and makes me all warm inside to think about!

Anyway, I pretty much adore my job. The women that work at this clinic are. fucking. amazing. (Excluding the doctors, the clinic is seriously about 95% female.) They're beautiful warrior goddesses. They are all strong and beautiful and hilarious and inspiring! And for the first time in my life since high school, I actually have friends! Real life friends! Who aren't completely batshit insane! Women who make me gut laugh, women who lift me up when I'm down, women who I enjoy listening to, women I can hang out with on weekends, do something as simple as text with. It is all so incredibly fulfilling in ways I could have never, ever expected. It is literally a joy to walk into work every day knowing that I'm going to see their faces and experience all the trials and tribulations of working in a medical clinic with them. I really feel like I have a life now. And while the loss of free time and coming home every night fairly exhausted isn't always preferrable, it feels good on the whole. And, really, it was time. I so didn't want to end up one of those thirty year old losers who stays home all day and plays video games. It's just not cute.

Oh, and my bosses are fucking fantastic. They care, their doors are always open, they problem solve. Our new office supervisor came in and as soon as he saw that I wasn't terribly happy that I was having to stay late every Friday to cover for a co-worker, he immediately put a plan into action to make it so I didn't have to stay late. AWESOME. Oh! So I got my very first cold while working (which, btw, was horrific), but I was working through it because that's what you do and I don't want to put my co-workers out. Last Friday my unit director came out and started to ask me a question, stopped mid-sentence, and was like "Oh ... you need to go home" and then gave a huge lecture (a warm, caring, not-stern-at-all lecture) about taking care of myself and letting me know it wasn't my responsibility to take care of the facility on my own (that last part will require extra explantion, but later). It turns out one of the MAs I work with was really concerned about how poorly I was feeling and knew I wouldn't ask for the time off, so she went to the director and told her what was going on and that she thought I should be allowed to go home. The director then went to my supervisor and apparently (this I feel bad about) was rather upset with him that he didn't notice I had looked unwell. Just things like that. So thoughtful and caring. Me leaving that Friday was a big deal, because another co-worker had her weekly injections on that day and wasn't due to come back, but Anna didn't care. She felt it was more important that I go home and take care of myself, regardless of the fact that this would leave no one out front to cover the desk. To be able to completely trust and put your faith in your supervisors is a wonderful thing, and to have loving co-workers who look out for you when you can't seem to look out for yourself is something that fills a void I had no idea existed within me. You guys, this work shit is pretty good.

I leave this post with a last image: Shelly, Angela and I walking out of the clinic together at the end of the day. My arm is around Shelly, Angela is playfully pushing me, we are bent over laughing while being complete and utter smart asses to each other. We gab and giggle for a good while before heading off to our respective cars with huge smiles on our faces - this is total contentment.


talk shit, you mean nothing

Ooooh, today was a doozy. This is my first period since starting Seasonale and hoooooooooly crap the lack of hormones is just ravaging me. I woke up this morning in the middle of a full-blown migraine which is always the worst thing ever. The only thing that saves my migraines from being unbearable is that I'm almost always able to catch and treat them early enough that they don't turn into monsters that make me an invalid for the day; but when I wake up in the middle of the storm, there's no real turning back. And that means shot. Thank god for Paula that I even HAVE them. Now that I have insurance I really need to get my ass in gear and get myself a nice stockpile of shots. I cannot overstate how much of a life saver they can be.

On top of this, I like HARDCORE worked out my back on Tuesday and woke up on Wednesday pretty much immobile. Like getting up and down was painful. Turning in bed was an effort of Herculean proportion. And omg, the fact that I have to pee once an hour was biting me in the ass. Luckily, Shaun and Zach have been scheduling Challenge Mode carries on like an hourly basis, so I have lots of fun chair activities to complete. It's pretty much highway robbery and kind of amazing how much people are willing to pay for them, but we're like one of the CHEAPER ones on the server. It's kinda funny - Shaun has gotten threatening messages from other CM groups, telling him to up our run prices or we'll be "blacklisted" amongst CM groups. One, I don't even know what that would entail and two, we have full clears like daily, I don't think his threat is all that scary.

(I've just been informed we have a 6/9 carry tonight AND a Garrosh sell. Apparently my life belongs to WoW.)

So I have a haircut appt with Katie next Thursday. My hair is just ridiculously long right now. I think it might even be the longest it's ever been. Naturally, it's driving me nuts but I don't think I'm gonna cave and chop it all off. My split ends, however, are out of control and need some Katie lovin'. Omg, long hair is so inconvenient. I had forgotten how much of a pain and hassle it is. It's pretty and worth it 90% of the time, but that other 10% makes me want to rip it all out. Plus styling it after eeeeeeeevery shower? I'm just way too lazy for that shit.

I'm planning to go hang out with Paula tomorrow. She's moved across town and is actually somewhat close to me now, yay! I don't have to drive 30 minutes everytime I want to see her! And then we're going out for Thai next, so that should be fun. If Shaun has done nothing else, he's expanded my culinary horizons. He's had to drag me there kicking and screaming, but I'll eventually acquiesce.
Phoebe is lying next to me, all curled up in an adorable, purring ball of kitty happiness. It's kind of adorable.

Life continues to be pretty awesome. And the pessimist in me continues to wonder when something epically bad will happen. There has been some family drama, a couple of things that I will refrain from talking about just because they're done and over with and didn't cause any lasting damage. I actually just sent my mom a huuuuuuge birthday/mother's day bag filled with makeup and other fun stuff. My mom is such an awesome woman today and has come so far in her life's journey - she deserves some recognition for that. For someone to do something special for her, that is JUST for her. I could tell how happy it made her and that is a pretty awesome feeling.

I've been having these really weird, really random moments of contentedness, lately. And they seem to be brought on by the most unassuming moments. Like, I'll be sitting on the couch, watching tv with a warm cup of coffee in my hand and one animal or another by my side and this feeling of just ... Unmitigated happiness washes over me. Or standing in the kitchen, laughing with my dad. Or being curled up at night, next to Shaun. Hell, sometimes just walking down the hallway on a sunny day can trigger it. It's nothing specific, it's nothing grand and it is always ushered in by the simplest of pleasures in life. Maybe it's all part and parcel of a genuine happiness with my current world but the feelings are such a wonderful, random, and often occurrence. What a awesome thing, to feel joy from the simple joys of life themselves!

I guess my migraines could be better. My gyno decided to switch me over to the one-period-per-four-months birth control and it has preeeeetty much told my body to go fuck itself. I'm hoping it's still an adjustment period but three months is a goddamn long adjustment period. I've got insurance now, tho, at least (which is kind of an amusing story itself) so I get my pills for free now, OH YEAH.

Speaking of health, I'm back on Nutrisytem. I just CANNOT lose weight using anything else. I can maintain, but never lose. I'd gained back a little bit of the weight I had lost - but being back on it I am amazed, as always, how the weight just melts off with minimal effort. I'm close to be back where I was in less than a month. What even?? Now I can finally work toward getting down to 115ish, which I have no doubt will take an extra bit of work. As an added plus, I am almost positive that Nutrisystem drastically helps with my migraines. Oh, and Shaun has had the Death Plague for about two weeks now and I have managed to escape its evil clutches. I kinda wanna thank Nutrisystem for that, too!

Okay, time to go lie down and listen to my audiobook. This is something Shaun currently has me obsessed with and I literally cannot go to sleep without listening to a book now. It's particularly awesome because falling asleep used to take me like an hour, with my brain moving a thousand miles a minute and thinking of one thing or another. Now, I'm out in like five flat. This also means it will take me about three lifetimes to get through any given book, but I'm kind of okay with that. Will I ever find out if Ulfric takes out his evil uncle? I don't know. Thanks, boyfriend!
Bah. I hate going this long in between entries because then I always have so much I want to write about AND THEN I get overwhelmed AND THEN I just end up writing about nothing because, goddamnit, it's just all too much work. I also really regret not writing about Blizzcon directly after because it's not as fresh as it was and I'm sure I'll forget a lot of fun little details. I'm still not gonna write about it today but it really was a blast, even better than the first, and maybe I'll even post pictures. That will so not happen.

The biggest thing I am absolutely going to skimp over because it still upsets me and I don't want to dwell on it, but something REALLY good came from it so I'll be brief - a few days after Christmas, we lost Simba. I'm not going to go into details because it still makes me cry when I think too much on it but JESUS CHRIST, I didn't expect it to hit me so hard or take so long before I felt not awful about it. Shaun was just ... my rock throughout the whole experience. He was so patient and loving and soothing. He spent, like, every waking moment with me because he knew I'd just dissolve into a little puddle of sadness and depression if left to my own devices. He never once got frustrated at the countless times I broke into tears and was just there for me. And I know I made the experience like a billion times worse for him because I totally just LOST it at the vet's office and I could see how much harder it was making the whole thing to process for him.

Shaun, knowing me oh-so-well, took me that day (like directly from the tragedy) to the city pound where we played with like six different cats and ended up with the beautiful, wonderful, adorable Miss Phoebe. I went in there dead set on getting a male, a tabby, as close to a Simba clone as I could find - and we walked out with a little tortoiseshell girl. The exact opposite of what I wanted because she was just IT from the moment we watched her walk up to the glass to try and get our attention. It was really a better decision than I could have anticipated. She's quite young and I've never really had a young kitty before so it's just a whole new experience. She plays CONSTANTLY, she cuddles, she makes the most adorable trilling sound everytime she does, like, anything, and she's iiiiiiiiitty bitty. Just a tiny little girl. And Shaun was absolutely right here; though it took me a ridiculously long time to feel normal again after we lost Simba, Phoebe's shining little presence in our lives helped immensely and gave me somewhere to pour all the love and sadness I would have had filling me to the brim and driving me nuts. She's just so wonderful and, while no cat could ever replace the perfection that was Simba, she's creating even more space in my heart for animal love.

And then there's my poor little Mangerdoodle whose skin condition has flared back up. Seems likely to be something we'll have to deal with endlessly and, with the issues he has growing back his hair, that really sucks. The skin stuff creates these huge holes in his fur and this is in ADDITION to the patch of fur he's missing from when he was attacked, that never grew back. Poor little guy. It's amazing though, people still ooh and ahh at him when we go out and walk him, even though he's missing like HALF his body's fur. Pretty good testament to him being pretty much the cutest dog that exists on this planet.

Okay, well, I didn't mean to babble on for ten hours about my animals but Shaun's making us do a 25-man for boss clean up tonight (ugggggh, 25-man whyyyyy), so I've gotta skedaddle and help Shaun finish dinner so I can get a few things done before raid. This third night of raid is kiiiiiiiiiilling me but, to be fair, it takes like an hour to clear what we don't do on heroic so it's not actually THAT bad and it's supposed to only be temporary to get some bench players a bit of gear in preparation for WoD. Which is fair. But God, three nights a week of raiding, even if one of those is pretty quick and only normals .... my body is not ready. Stupid helping other people out. *grumble*

*I've also been trying lots of fun new stuff with make-up. I need to remember to write about that, since Danielle and I bouncing ideas off of each other has been fun (though we're both horribly inept at the whole thing)!


So, these past few months have been surreal in how awesome they’ve been. Just … one of those weird moments in time where everything fits together. I absolutely love my job, sporadic though it may be. I’ve been working out and feeling better in general – more energy, less migraines. And, the real cherry on top of this cake, Shaun and I have been on this lovely little honeymoon period of loviedovie awesomeness. Twilight zone good stuff. I don’t know, everything is just seeming to fit into place right now, in a way that doesn’t usually happen all at one time.

Now, of course, being the eternal pessimist that I am, I have to wonder when the other shoe will drop. You know these periods of life bliss don’t last forever. Really, they don’t even last this long. So what major, life changing, world ruining event am I in store for, since I’m essentially using up a lifetime’s worth of happiness in one go? I know it’s silly. But sometimes I get nervous when the phone rings. Bad news inc? We shall see …

Okay, so maybe life isn’t perfection. The biggest concern I have right now is my kitty cat, Simba. He’s getting to be pretty old and his weight has just drastically dropped. We took him into the vet and it turns out he is having some kidney issues, as well as having other levels elevated. But we’ve put him on a special low protein diet and are giving him subcutaneous fluids twice a week, both seem to be lowering his levels. He still hasn’t really put on any weight, which is really what I’d like to see. But you know – you put the cat on a low protein diet, make him eat food that’s noticeably less desirable, he’s gonna cut down on what he eats. Sort of a double-edged sword, there. Either way, I’m hopeful. Levels still aren’t GREAT, but they’re definitely BETTER and Simba is still super spry and mobile so he doesn’t appear to be so sick as to be miserable.

Oh! I also discovered this horrible new thing – subscription boxes. Basically a service you pay for that sends you different goodies, monthly, in order to help you discover new brands or new products within brands you already know. Beauty boxes, food boxes, jewelry boxes – SO. MANY. BOXES. It’s just such a fun, exciting idea – like Christmas every month! I’m currently subscribed to Glossybox, Beauty Box 5, Ipsy and Love With Food, so hopefully I will use this little thingamajigger to sort of put down all of my thoughts on them. But, I have to say, I’ve already gotten my first Glossybox and I am just so ridiculously in love. It was WELL worth the $20 monthly fee. So amazing. The addiction begins.

Alright in the middle of a raid. Suppose I might go back to paying attention to that!
So, for whatever reason, last night the boys decided they wanted to play Rift. Zach, Shaun, Ray, Scott, Nova and I marched on over. Nova wasn't really into it, I don't think, but the other five of us picked it back up today - omg, I had forgotten how much fun this game was. I always do. Such an amazing, well thought out, beautifully crafted game. And it's doubly fun running with all of the boys, they make the experience that much more awesome, which is kinda odd for me because I typically hate leveling with other people. (Helps that we're doing billions of Warfronts!)

But even WoW has been a ton more fun lately. We recently transferred our guild off of Icecrown, as the only people existing on that server anymore were either a.) douchebags or b.) quiet casuals. We consider ourselves pretty damn casual, too, but we also like to actually, you know, DO THINGS in game. And that's becoming really quite a feat on Icecrown. I logged onto the server the other day to help the people who stayed behind to rebuild Hands of Fate do some guild leveling ... and I just watched people look for other people to do heroic scenarios with for like an hour with no bites. There were a lot of people searching for things and not getting any replies. It's sad. The server is just SO dead. No one does anything, there's no competitive edge on the server to watch, trade chat is positively BARREN, and no one really cares to group up and do anything anymore. Shaun tried, for awhile, to do involve others on the server in activities and it was just impossible.

But we eventually just gave up on that and moved to Stormrage - and it was like night and day. We were all positively giddy that first week, enamored with actually seeing PEOPLE and finding groups and seeing people running things! It's hands down the best decision we could've made for the guild, and that was definitely evidenced by the way everyone in the guild vehemently embraced the move. A few of our guildies transferred their ENTIRE catalogue of toons over. Was so awesome to see so many of them be like, "Now, now, let's go!" because it really felt like it was something that was going to make all of us so much happier. It's just funny, because at least once a day someone will do something and exclaim, "GOD, I love this server". It's just so awesome and we've met, in the two weeks we've been here, a ton of amazing, awesome, non-elitist people. I think this move kind of reinvigorated all of our interest in the game, though there are definitely some people we left behind in HoF that I will sorely miss. :-(

Well, except now that we're all playing Rift again. Although Zach just derped and bugged our instance. Only Zach.

Anyway, I kind of hate that I stopped writing, cause so many good things have been happening lately. Life has been swell and that always tends to be the times that I stop writing. Probably because I get busy with shit, or whatever, so maybe that's good. BUT I had this like ... two week stint like two months ago where I just felt AWFUL on a daily basis (bad migraine stretch) which made me stop writing and then I got behind and then I felt overwhelmed that I had too much to write about so every time I thought about it I just didn't want to. But hopefully I'm over that now and I have some fun things to write about just ... not right now. :-D

Way longer ramble than intended, back to Rift!

Being drunk, round 3!

Still don't get the fuss about improper typing. Think auto correct helps. Am Skyping like everyone I know. Either way, 10/10 would do again. No puking this time! Just fun, happy, silliness with a little bit of wooooooooooo! Everyone is terribly amused by me. Now - time to pass out while the boys watch V Mars!

Why did I wait so long to do this??? Vodka is definitely my friend.

Mar. 19th, 2013

So, Carrie Underwood was amaaaaaazing. It was literally the best arena show I've ever seen in my life and it takes a lot for me to rank above my beloved Miss Spears. I kinda wish I hadn't waited so long to get this all down, but I also think if I'd started writing about this at the time my mom left I'd have dissolved into a puddle of sadness. Her leaving was hard and I was pretty upset about it for the week or so after. I still get sad when I think about it but it's not a constant anymore. It's really hard to realize how much of someone's life you've missed, especially when that person is family - let alone your mother.

Anyway, mom and I went shopping that afternoon to get me some countrified clothing because I absolutely wanted to look the part. Got an amazing eyelet dress and found a great pair of cowboy boots for only like 65 bucks so I was pretty happy with my haul. Oh! Also got an awesome brown hobo-ish purse that fit the theme. Paula came over a bit early and curled my hair all pretty like and we left soon after for the venue, which is actually not too far from my house. The excitement of looking cute was soon overwhelmed, however, by the FUCKING COLD AS SHITNESS of the outside air. I wanted to die. It was cold, it was wet, there were many valleys and hill in between my car and the entrance and my scrub ass isn't used to walking in heels. The venue itself was actually quite nice, we got ourselves some pizza and sat down to scarf and watch Hunter Hayes who was increeeeeeedibly boring. Decent voice, but incredibly vanilla.

Carrie, herself, was amazing. Stellar. Beautiful. Flawless. The woman is fucking amazing and words literally fail when describing how great she is. Her vocals were pristine, not a single note missed. Her band was incredible and the sound in the venue amazing. She had this really neat little ... triangle screen thing going on, it's very hard to explain but it was really interesting visually. And there was a nice storytelling element to the visuals. She also rose up into the air on a platform and rode it out far past halfway through the crowd so that those of us closer to the back got an amazing view of some of the performance. But I think the coolest thing was, on her closer Blown Away, she sang in front of a created tornado that looked shockingly realistic, even down to the debris swirling around in the wind. Just such cool visuals, such a spectacular voice and such a lovely woman to watch work.

I was shocked, Paula was singing along to like EVERY song and I had no clue she was such a fan of Miss Underwood. So that was awesome to see, I kinda thought she'd likely be bored. My mom, of course, loved it. And cried during the section where she did Temporary Home and Jesus Take the Wheel, of course. I even got a little misty there and I don't really like EITHER of those songs typically, but arena shows always heighten my emotions for whatever ridiculous reason. In any case, it was just such a wonderful and amazing night. And more importantly, a fucking amazing visit with my mom that just happened to end way too soon. She left the next day, after the show, and that was ... hard. But I am thankful that I got to spent any time with her all. And look! I wrote about her leaving and I don't want to go lie in bed and regret the past decade of my life!


*sigh* Old people ...

My mom keeps passing out on me super early. Which leads to a fairly boring late night, but I suppose it also leads to more LJ updating? On the dreaded iPad. I suppose I could turn on Big Bertha but meh - it's really kind of nice being away from the computer. Except for LJ entries. Oh, the misclicking and terrible auto-correct.

Anyway, today we did the touristy thing and spent hours at Old Town, something I think she enjoyed. We didn't stay long inside the church because my mother was getting infused with the Holy Spirit or something and was near tears. Interestingly, we went in and my mother did the customary cross with the provided holy water, but then ... So did Shaun. And I just stood there like a deer in headlights like, "what is this, I don't even ..."

Directly after this, Shaun started being suuuuuper affectionate. Like rubbing my shoulders, holding my hand, always having contact in some way or another. It was so lovely, I wonder if the Holy Spirit was all up in him, too. I think Shaun is a lot more religious than he lets on and those things are fairly meaningful to him, too. My mom got a couple of Catholic mementos and bought me a dove necklace to put in my car and say a prayer over. I do so very much wish I could be like that or that it meant more to me, but you know - I'm just not there. And I can't say with any certainty that I ever will be but, sadly, it's easy to ignore more often than not.

After that, we bought overpriced Indian jewelry, stopped by The Candy Lady, did various other touristy shizz and then drove over to the Bosque to show my mom the pretty. And it was like LEGIT warm out today. The sun was burning my legs through my jeans while we were looking at shinies. As such, I ended up with a headache OF COURSE but it's not really all too awful.

AND THEN TOMORROW IS CARRIE UNDERWOOD!!! Life is just so good, right now. So, so good. I am just filled with joy but these days with my mom are passing far too quickly. It's hard not to think about, but I'm trying my damnedest not to prematurely make with the sad. But gah! It's hard. Especially seeing her sleep. And there I go again ...

Popcorn hangover ...

So mom made from scratch popcorn last night while we watched the newest Silent Hill - and she made a good darn lot of it. So I ate a good darn lot of it. And it was soooooo freaking good, so easy, I will never eat bagged again. But there are consequences to piling your stomach with as much popcorn as it can potentially hold and ohhhh goodness was I ever nauseous. Even woke up a little uggggggh.

I've actually lost more weight recently and I am 100% convinced that I will be gaining alllll of it back while she's here. It was funny, she was legitimately shocked at how much weight I'd lost, especially cause she's used to me being slightly over weight. She was like, "How did you get so skinny?? You're like a completely different person!" And these things actually matter to my mom, she's big on physical appearance, so I know it made her happy. As much as she is dead set on making me a hippo before she leaves.

Btw, the new Silent Hill was pretty boring. Great visuals, as always, but the story was totally lacking.

Oh, and little Mango had a seizure this morning. :-( Poor baby. Fairly tame and didn't last super long but I still just hate to see it and hate that he can't possibly understand what's going on. He'd been doing so good, too.



shirley faceturn
the promise + the threat

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