Still don't get the fuss about improper typing. Think auto correct helps. Am Skyping like everyone I know. Either way, 10/10 would do again. No puking this time! Just fun, happy, silliness with a little bit of wooooooooooo! Everyone is terribly amused by me. Now - time to pass out while the boys watch V Mars!

Why did I wait so long to do this??? Vodka is definitely my friend.

So, Carrie Underwood was amaaaaaazing. It was literally the best arena show I've ever seen in my life and it takes a lot for me to rank above my beloved Miss Spears. I kinda wish I hadn't waited so long to get this all down, but I also think if I'd started writing about this at the time my mom left I'd have dissolved into a puddle of sadness. Her leaving was hard and I was pretty upset about it for the week or so after. I still get sad when I think about it but it's not a constant anymore. It's really hard to realize how much of someone's life you've missed, especially when that person is family - let alone your mother.

Anyway, mom and I went shopping that afternoon to get me some countrified clothing because I absolutely wanted to look the part. Got an amazing eyelet dress and found a great pair of cowboy boots for only like 65 bucks so I was pretty happy with my haul. Oh! Also got an awesome brown hobo-ish purse that fit the theme. Paula came over a bit early and curled my hair all pretty like and we left soon after for the venue, which is actually not too far from my house. The excitement of looking cute was soon overwhelmed, however, by the FUCKING COLD AS SHITNESS of the outside air. I wanted to die. It was cold, it was wet, there were many valleys and hill in between my car and the entrance and my scrub ass isn't used to walking in heels. The venue itself was actually quite nice, we got ourselves some pizza and sat down to scarf and watch Hunter Hayes who was increeeeeeedibly boring. Decent voice, but incredibly vanilla.

Carrie, herself, was amazing. Stellar. Beautiful. Flawless. The woman is fucking amazing and words literally fail when describing how great she is. Her vocals were pristine, not a single note missed. Her band was incredible and the sound in the venue amazing. She had this really neat little ... triangle screen thing going on, it's very hard to explain but it was really interesting visually. And there was a nice storytelling element to the visuals. She also rose up into the air on a platform and rode it out far past halfway through the crowd so that those of us closer to the back got an amazing view of some of the performance. But I think the coolest thing was, on her closer Blown Away, she sang in front of a created tornado that looked shockingly realistic, even down to the debris swirling around in the wind. Just such cool visuals, such a spectacular voice and such a lovely woman to watch work.

I was shocked, Paula was singing along to like EVERY song and I had no clue she was such a fan of Miss Underwood. So that was awesome to see, I kinda thought she'd likely be bored. My mom, of course, loved it. And cried during the section where she did Temporary Home and Jesus Take the Wheel, of course. I even got a little misty there and I don't really like EITHER of those songs typically, but arena shows always heighten my emotions for whatever ridiculous reason. In any case, it was just such a wonderful and amazing night. And more importantly, a fucking amazing visit with my mom that just happened to end way too soon. She left the next day, after the show, and that was ... hard. But I am thankful that I got to spent any time with her all. And look! I wrote about her leaving and I don't want to go lie in bed and regret the past decade of my life!

My mom keeps passing out on me super early. Which leads to a fairly boring late night, but I suppose it also leads to more LJ updating? On the dreaded iPad. I suppose I could turn on Big Bertha but meh - it's really kind of nice being away from the computer. Except for LJ entries. Oh, the misclicking and terrible auto-correct.

Anyway, today we did the touristy thing and spent hours at Old Town, something I think she enjoyed. We didn't stay long inside the church because my mother was getting infused with the Holy Spirit or something and was near tears. Interestingly, we went in and my mother did the customary cross with the provided holy water, but then ... So did Shaun. And I just stood there like a deer in headlights like, "what is this, I don't even ..."

Directly after this, Shaun started being suuuuuper affectionate. Like rubbing my shoulders, holding my hand, always having contact in some way or another. It was so lovely, I wonder if the Holy Spirit was all up in him, too. I think Shaun is a lot more religious than he lets on and those things are fairly meaningful to him, too. My mom got a couple of Catholic mementos and bought me a dove necklace to put in my car and say a prayer over. I do so very much wish I could be like that or that it meant more to me, but you know - I'm just not there. And I can't say with any certainty that I ever will be but, sadly, it's easy to ignore more often than not.

After that, we bought overpriced Indian jewelry, stopped by The Candy Lady, did various other touristy shizz and then drove over to the Bosque to show my mom the pretty. And it was like LEGIT warm out today. The sun was burning my legs through my jeans while we were looking at shinies. As such, I ended up with a headache OF COURSE but it's not really all too awful.

AND THEN TOMORROW IS CARRIE UNDERWOOD!!! Life is just so good, right now. So, so good. I am just filled with joy but these days with my mom are passing far too quickly. It's hard not to think about, but I'm trying my damnedest not to prematurely make with the sad. But gah! It's hard. Especially seeing her sleep. And there I go again ...

So mom made from scratch popcorn last night while we watched the newest Silent Hill - and she made a good darn lot of it. So I ate a good darn lot of it. And it was soooooo freaking good, so easy, I will never eat bagged again. But there are consequences to piling your stomach with as much popcorn as it can potentially hold and ohhhh goodness was I ever nauseous. Even woke up a little uggggggh.

I've actually lost more weight recently and I am 100% convinced that I will be gaining alllll of it back while she's here. It was funny, she was legitimately shocked at how much weight I'd lost, especially cause she's used to me being slightly over weight. She was like, "How did you get so skinny?? You're like a completely different person!" And these things actually matter to my mom, she's big on physical appearance, so I know it made her happy. As much as she is dead set on making me a hippo before she leaves.

Btw, the new Silent Hill was pretty boring. Great visuals, as always, but the story was totally lacking.

Oh, and little Mango had a seizure this morning. :-( Poor baby. Fairly tame and didn't last super long but I still just hate to see it and hate that he can't possibly understand what's going on. He'd been doing so good, too.

So, for the first time in five (possibly more) years, I am with my mother. It's ... absolutely sad and tragic and a whole bunch of other terms that it's taken this long for us to get together but you know hey - at least it's happening. She is currently, however, passed the fuck out. Our fragile, delicate bodies being the sensitive ecosystem they are, her travel caused a massive migraine of epic proportions right about when she hit LAX. She was definitely feeling better but migraine meds/Tylenol PM in conjunction with her extreme lack of sleep last night (she awoke at 12am to make her flight on time) has caused her to pass out on me rather early. Luckily, no one knows better than I how that goes. I'm just so happy to have her here at all, passed out or not.

I'm currently a little bored as I've run out of shit to watch, but I don't want to just leave her lying here alone. And Shaun is currently helping out Ravage in Throne of Thunder as they still haven't managed to fill out their roster and he told Zach he'd help him out whenever he needed it. I've literally resorted to watching Smash. SMASH. This boredom right now.

It's weird. Maybe cause I always see my dad and because I saw him consistently even when he wasn't out here, I haven't really noticed him getting old. With my mom and five or so years in between meetings, it kind of hit me in the face. I remember my mom being youthful and full of life. And while I'm sure the migraine has a good deal to do with how she looked today, you can still definitely see the years, the exhaustion, the hardness of her life etched across her face. It's kind of hard to see? But I also have to acknowledge that it HAS been ages since I've seen her and she HAS led a particularly hard life. Still gives me that nervous, fluttery feeling in my stomach though - I haven't had nearly enough time with her in my life for her to be this old. Hits me hard.

*sigh* Stupid emotions. Stupid Smash. Stupid stupid.

Sooooo didn't end up going to apply on Wednesday (clinic was closed) so instead applied on Thursday. And can you guess what I woke up with on Thursday? A migraine? You don't say!

I really think I fucked over my body by missing out on a month of birth control. I don't actually know if that's how it works, but I DO know that my body had adjusted amazingly to Levora and I had very little issue in regards to amplified migraines. But after missing that month? My next period was atrocious. I know some of it had to do with also having death cold but it was just exceptionally bad. This period was pretty bad, too. Not as awful as the previous one (so maybe that means I'm re-adjusting) but still pretty icky. And I'm still doing that thing where I forget to eat before dinner, which I'm pretty sure does not help to keep my migraines at bay.

Anyway, so of course that morning I wake up with a migraine. Decide to just knock it out with pills, go back to sleep, and try and move on with the day. Still got to the clinic at about 1-ish, turns out they did not still have my previous application, refilled and left. As I was sitting there filling stuff out, I heard a comment from the girl handling my application that I'm not entirely sure I was supposed to hear: "She's so clean cut, too!" Normally I would take this as an incredibly positive sign of my chances but, lbr, I have absolutely no qualifications for this job. They want experience with animals in a "professional setting", I have nothing. And the last actual job I held was a ridiculous amount of years ago, I'm not sure it even qualifies as relevant it was that old. Honestly? I don't even know if Chong and Bob still run it - I'd assume so, they were the Presidents of the company, but I just don't know. It's possible they won't even be able to confirm I ever worked there.

So while the comment was humorous and made me feel good about myself, my hopes for this job are very limited. I'm still very much in the position of being able to be choosy about what I apply for (excuse me while my privilege shows) as my father hasn't attempted to rush me into this in any fashion, but I really would like to get out there and do something for myself.

But it's late, I'm in bed and I'm trying to be good about updating. But it's such a freaking pain that I shorten my sentences and everything gets conveyed in the most boring, simplistic way.

The search for a job is on! I'm gonna go back down to South Valley Animal Clinic tomorrow, as they have another opening available. We'll see how that goes, a vet job would be optimal - combining animals and office work, what could be better? Their requirements and such have changed since last I applied and I do wonder if that's gonna be an issue. Oh, well, certainly couldn't hurt to try. Close to home, too!

Zach and Uth are on this huge, renewed Diablo III kick and have been pestering me to join them. Which - I would do it for the company alone, but I think Zach knows it's still not my favorite thing. So he went and bought me all of this pretty and amazing new legendary gear, likely as a nice incentive to play again. Which it was. And also the guilt of ... OMGSOSWEET, and now I have to do anything you say. But it really was so incredibly thoughtful, Zach really is such a doll. It is absolutely shocking to me that I could be such good friends with someone as young as Zach but he is just such good, good people. He makes me want to play games I'm not interested in just to make him happy. Plus Nova is still super interested so when we do play, we have such a great, fun, shit talking group. And that is what it's all about!

As the sweetest side note ever, Nova messaged me tonight and said that Cher Lloyd's "Oath" should be our "BF song" and was quoting it to me. So fucking sweet. We've really gotten pretty close these past couple of weeks and Nova is just such a warm fuzzy all the time and just genuinely enjoys hanging out with me, Shaun, Scott and Ray. It's just so awesome having that kind of gaming family and he absolutely completes our group. If only we could get Oofle back and Zach interested in WoW again ...

Anyway. This has been the ultimate week in warm fuzzies and loveliness and it's only Tuesday! May it continue in such an awesome fashion!

So, Shaun and I went out for our delayed V-Day plans tonight - I got some serious side eye for wanting to see Warm Bodies but my puppy dog eyes won out and he agreed to let me pick this movie. It was soooooooo much better than I had anticipated. I actually wasn't expecting much. I thought frivolous, silly, campy fun. And it was all of those things, but it wasn't really as funny as I was expecting. It wasn't really laugh out loud funny much at all (though it had its moments) but it was really quite sweet. Exceptionally so. Like the movie was hitting me in my feels and I was like, "WHAT IS THIS VOODOO??" The story was just so amazing and like ... I realize what it is. It's a zombie love story. Which should, like, inherently make it incapable of being genuinely sweet and heartwarming. But it totally was! I don't understand it, I don't know why the zombie bits didn't camp it to high hell but it just worked.

So that was really fun and so worth the ridiculous ticket prices. Apparently there are tons of awesome movies coming out soon (and a few horror things Shaun will have to be talked into) so I am completely and utterly stoked on the new arrivals. Oh! And like ... at one part during the movie "Midnight City" started playing. There is just something SO awesome about being in a theater and having a song you find to be amazing start playing in surround sound, super loud - I completely just melted into a puddle in my chair.

While I'm yammering on about movies, we went to go see Django Unchained while Oofle was here. So. Fucking. Good. One of his best, I think. I was really kinda "eh" on Jaime Foxx playing the lead, especially after I'd heard that Tarantino had written the part for Will Smith (and I still think it would've been better with him), but Jaime Foxx pulled it the fuck out. Uth and I did get quite the giggle out of listening to/watching the audience's reactions to some of the dialogue and action - whooooooooole lotta white people giggling nervously at things, not sure if they're allowed to find them funny or not. THAT right there is half the amusement of the experience. Except holy good God, the amount of peeing I had to do by the end of that shit.

Now, to end the night watching Pretty Little Liars, I think.

I figured in honor of Valentine's Day, I should write a mushy gushy ode to my boyfriend. He came up behind me today, wrapped his arms around me and was like, "Eleven years. That's a long time, I'm proud of us." And you know what? I really am, too. Shaun and I have had a billion ups and downs, and if I'm being completely honest, a good portion of those downs were shit that I brought down upon us. Don't get me wrong, Shaun's no angel - but I think if there's one thing we should laud about our relationship is that, once we actually sit and talk shit out, we both strive to work out those issues.

And I have to say, I am so incredibly happy with him and my life. I made a flippant comment awhile back about how it only took me eight years, but I'm finally appreciating what I have. It was meant to be silly, but it is sadly somewhat true. I very much have not appreciated Shaun and all he has done for me, partly because I was holding him up to some ridiculous expectations. And then some expectations he should have been making. But I really feel like I'm more realistic as to what to expect and that he makes steps to give me more than he had been. But I had been holding on for so long to some very silly misconceived idea that I was missing out on something in life because I had met Shaun when I was 17 and never really had the chance to experience someone else. I've let that go and I'm sad it took me as long as it did. I have a boyfriend who is hot, intelligent, takes care of me and seems to only fall more in love with me the longer we're together. I'm not sure why it took me so long to realize what I have, but I'm glad I'm finally there.

Shaun has put up with a lot from me - A LOT. I got angry about things that I shouldn't have, let my attentions wander, expected him to read my mind, got angry when he couldn't. He stuck through it because I really am his world. And I should've recognized that as the amazing gesture it is, something that speaks way more than gifts and all the other ridiculous shit I was expecting. Shaun really does make me feel like the center of his universe, stupid WoW shit aside. And I still slip - I still get disproportionately angry at him, once even in super recent history, but I'm trying to learn to reign it in and, though he does get upset about it, he's patient with it. I'm a very lucky girl, I'm very much in love and Shaun makes my world so very wonderful - when he's not pissing me off. :-D

We were supposed to go out for a movie tonight but, as almost allllllllllllways happens, my body had other plans. Woke up with headache/nausea. Stuck around all day. Finally took pill at about 4:30 but then I was out for the rest of the day. So now we're just relaxing, doing some low level bgs, and plan to make our romantic night out this weekend instead. Curse you body, and your wretched spitefulness!

Just a quick little entry since I've been neglecting my lovely as of late. Been going to bed much later than intended and get far too sleepy for a real update. This weekend because of having Oofle here (more on that later) and tonight because bb bgs were back on after the weekend hiatus. We took Arle along for a few tonight, even. I think he's back to trying to be a good person again, which I want to reward even though I am totally still salty about previous events. Part of me knows his brain doesn't comprehend that he did something wrong. Part of me thinks that just can't be a valid excuse for eternity. It's just weird.

Also went to REI to scope out camping equipment. Ended up getting most shit at Target, so we now have tent, sleeping bags, cooking supplies and various other necessities. I was already pretty excited about camping but tonight Shaun was like, "I wasn't excited when we first talked about it but I am now" which makes me even more gleeful at the prospect because it'll be such an awesome thing for us to do together. Have to wait til it warms up, of course, as I am a total weather pansy, but it's coming and I am so stoked!

My father, of course, thinks we're nuts and is like, "why can't you just rent a cabin". So now I have a burning desire to do that, too. Maybe both? There's something about being in a cabin that really gets to me. I've done it once before and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. The comfort of a place that feels like home and being deep within nature all adds up to a pretty awesome experience. They're both different experiences, but something I think would be lovely.

Okay. Pass out time. Old lady out.